Love and Sex and the ultimate demise of marriage
Sod family values, I've dated women with kids, even been engaged to one, it matters
not they are vile creatures who are a pain in the arse, ruin your social life, and
stop you doing the things you enjoy most. Unless of course being interrupted when
you settle down for some cosy romance is what you want, as well as the hassle and
discontent of looking for a babysitter, not that it mattered much, and of course
then we have the money.
On the plus side
they are sweet, loveable and refreshingly honest, which is the problem with most
adults, who seem incapable of anything, lack enthusiasm,
or even the very spark of life, which makes you want to go out places and do things.
For that's face it most adults would zombify in boredom at the drab weary world, after
they have been drained dry, by the winter of discontent, ignorance is bliss
and happiness is found in curiosity, and the endless desire that you can and will
make a difference in life.
So why my discontent with most adults, who lets face it lie constantly to safe guard their professions and are too damn afraid
of being themselves, to say what
they feel. It's all very good when they want something, but rarely does anyone do
anything, unless theirs a catch, of course this is completely bogus, and most people
at one time or other do try and help, only to have it thrown back in their faces,
because its too easy, the world has been conditioned, to mistrust even openness
thats god for you I suppose, the slippery slope of control and slavery ,and thus
marriage.
Don't get me wrong i fell for the myth once, the be all and end all, love and happiness,
the grass is greener on the other side, but then what, you get engaged, and you
take a closer look, its all walking on egg shells, and crumbles onto sand, everyone
scared of hurting the others feelings, and if your open that makes it so much worse,
women only fall for those who are jerks, its genetic, its much easier to commit
to someone when you know you can do better, less chance of being wounded in the
cross fire when it all goes wrong, perhaps why the most fragile of individuals are
the attractive god send, while the ugly beasts in lust XI are the most outgoing
and nicest of individuals. But then you have a choice date someone who's nice, but
doesn't turn you on, or sacrifice for outward experiences and nothing inside, no
brain, nothing. A wasted opportunity. A lovers mistake, commitment.
One I've made on at least more then one occasion, perhaps not now, but perhaps I've got too insulated on my own time, my own whim. Though what if there's nothing you
want, no inspiration so you seek knowledge, someone else's enthusiasm, a guiding
light a compass inspiration for temptation, curiosity, and to take the world by
storm, after all we can do anything, but knowledge makes you jaded, so innocence,
has that magical belief, that makes it see all worthwhile.
Then the bomb shell hits, people aren't ready for truth, honesty, so does that mean
you have to manipulate, to break the ice, but isn't that dishonest, and flawed,
as it puts up barriers which will never come down, what if you say yes, because
your riding the wave of emotion, but then it settles down, you fall, and then the
passion, the urge for responsibility flounders have you come too far to hold, back,
what of them. They are pushing the boulder back, and you wonder should you or
shouldn't you take the risk, at love.
Yet still there's one thing being in love, having sex, having passion, compleatly another to live together, and do the mundane crap
behind closed doors.
Perhaps the biggest mistake any too individuals can make is actually living in the
same house together, unless you want kids, its pointless, the romance is gone, nothing
but the stress and dreary commitment and the yearning to be elsewhere, like single
again, the curse of ignominy a strange quote, what ever next, love behind the sofa,
on the sex swing, or perhaps a blow job on the dryer, perhaps the hot tub, threes
a crowd, but what if they are taking pictures, sex without passion, no holds bared
physical and unemotional, good for some, but perhaps lacking the necessary spiritual
connection, however, there's something to be said for a good shag, without the baggage,
and implicit ground robbing manipulation that goes with it.
So do I want sex, or something more, so the more you do, the easier it gets, to
see the flaws, to spot the differences to see the trends, then its not curiosity,
but a game of manipulation, should i tell her the truth, and let her run, or lead
her on to get some sex, and suffer the guilt and stones and heartbreak never a
godo thing, or I give them a chance, give it straight, and they break and run, or
the come back, and do it all the more, no guilt, no agro, and a lasting commitment,
or not as the showing goes. You can''t give yourself to someone, its an illusion,
an escape, you've only got one higher self, and thats your own higher self, and
a oneness, which defies any need to press blame, hold grudes, its forgiveness, all
the way, they can do anything. so why the lies, tell me if you want to sleep with
him, perhaps my heart will beat in lust, and the compeative edge, for I know where
I stand, perhaps I shall go, no its not worth it, i've seen how this turns out,
but perhaps the sex was worth it.
Then what happens, you run into Lilith another mix another inevitable consequence
of someone being down on their luck and the wheel turns, a meeting of minds, or
was that oral sex, when lovers connect, for your on the same wave length,
the same point, and it seems right, perhaps some things shouldn't have happened,
result in compromise and the eventual soaring of something that shouldn't have got
that far, after all long distance relationships between the shores should not end
up living in the same house, for how long before temporarily becomes an unwritten
rule, leave, its over, or not at all. all in the mind, and mistaken looks or youth,
who cares, its gone and dusted, but its a learning curve, the one who sought marriage,
and now switched sides, after the experience, was more because he dated someone
who thought that way, or just an eventual demise of the seven of cups, and luxury.
for over abundance and familiarity perhaps shouldn't be right, but isn't it the
security, the commitment, and the closeness, that there's always someone their who
knows your mind, who shares your passion, your love, and knows you for who you really
are, support, is that all we seek, all we need, or is it a turn off.
For something given freely, is never taken for granted, its what you can't have,
you need, never what's right in front of you, till its too late, to see what you really
had. so been and gone, and no more, no less, nothing ever seems the same, an excuse
a barrier, for progress for love, an immunity developed by years of hardship and
experience, yet what of life and what of death, who will you trust to turn the plug
off, make that call, your parents or your lover, your friends even, who get what,
and do you trust them in death if not in life, where's the hardship and trust leave
off, and you fake forgiveness, when there was none to forgive, meh, its like it
or lump it, the rest is meaningless, so what use are words, when silence says it
all, a nudge a wink, and pleasure in the sixes, for lust is gone, when you know
the chariot, makes the fall.
Still you can never be with it all the time, make a move, and suffer the consequences
or do nothing and sit on the sidelines while life passes you by, take a chance,
or skin on by, for you've seen the act, and you know the final destination, so what's
the point, if there is no point, experience will find you no matter what, unless
i manipulate...
So yes I'm toying
with manipulation, crossing the line, as some as a preference to loosing myself in the system, being a forgotton relick of years gone by. But
where does it end, where do I stop, the judgement has been passed, there's no going
back, I can and be anything, so why stop at nothing, when I can take it all, where
does power cease, and love corrupt, the wanting it no matter what, lust XI for conquest,
and the ace of wands has hit its heyday for the priest is no more, and something
wreaks of substition a devil in a pale moon dress, fear becomes her, but the sun
is lost, for death XIII longs for thee.
Another black out, and spark, of life, of death of money, for isn't that what makes
the world go round, closed doors deals, commitments, life ruins less, in secrecy
then honesty reeked. So where am I know? Who knows, I certainly don't I've moved
on, and the inevitable conclusion, is life matters not, so do what you want, and
get what you can, the rest is smoke and mirrors, and the mirror shattered for it
broke your mind, and the luck was lost, because kali came, and Jesus wept for thee.
Now I've lost the bet, and its time to move, gamble in life, or gamble in death,
now does one loose it all, to apathy and defeat, or take it no matter what, at any
cost, for the bodies will fall, and fall they shall, in idle curiosity, for anger
fled when fear was lost, so one for all, and all for one, is a joke, for I
am all, and your nothing, but death, for you've drained me, so why should I care,
what happens next. I don't that's the problem, its gone, the love, the life,
I see nothing but the game, and if I cross the line, its the last move I ever make,
for there's no turning back, when you take the world by storm, for then the individual
is crushed beneath the might, of absolutist might.
Yet perhaps a distraction from boredom will rear its head, what challenge comes
to compromise, its wrong, my leg tell me otherwise, I don't really mean it, I want
love, not life, I want it to matter, but it does not, so alas sir Yorick, I have
but one last life. For the rest is history, crushed to dust, beneath the boot trodden
past, of authority who sought nothing but death, control and murder, for that is
my call, when love is gone, you look to the other, so perhaps lilith was right,
knowledge matters more.
So where to next, before I surrender to god, and conquest of life, after death?
do they need another lesson, the irony, the circle, he who fears authority does
what, turn to crime, to make ends meat, budha the ruler turned to pauper, jesus,
well he just took the easy way out, while muhammed, was the slave turned ruller,
and crowley started with everything, and finished with nothing, its a life after
death as you balance it out, so the time for neutrality is an end, justic, or freedom,
do I become the controler, or do I become the other, and perhaps it matters not
one jot, for life, is already recorded in the records, we set ourselves, so god
looses one more time, for I am neither good nor evil, but a human in love, and thats
all that stands in my way, for once love is lost, then we have nothing, but commitment
to a cause. Oh yes, those who seek love, are torn down in hatred, another
of lifes little ironies, crucifiction at the hands of the mob, or assination, so
what is my irony, and should I dare take the bait, or defy love, and come up with anothe
insperation, the trumpet sounds... for i've proved them wrong with sex, already,
and any other challenge, they have thrown in my face, proof by exception, so thats
one down, and another to go... do you really want to push your luck with the law,
and authority, for when somene ever tell me no, it usually means, actually yes,
why not, you forget to take account of this flaw here....
S
orry! You have to be a
member and logged
in to view any more details.
It's only fair before we give away too many secrets, a little taster before
we give the rest away. Apple anyone?
For example you could read something without needing to be logged in: (not
everyone has the balls to join, offended they are, thank fuck for
article 10)
i.e. Philosophy is the Spice of
Life
Or The human Rights
Act
or the book extract: God
is Evil, The Devil is Good
Back to Introduction