Vision Explained

Brief overview, on my life, work, research to date

Right this all happened back when I was still adjusting to the psychic thing back mid 2007.  I've gone though various stages of development, and experimentation on other courses, been and done the haunted investigation thing and well it was around now - i was seriously  starting to pickup clairvoyant images on a regular occurence. Flashes/images in my head as well as auras around other people. in fact i'd started out with this much earlier. Back when I was 12 my mum had a tarot deck, which I origionaly ignored, and only took it up seriously back  in november 2005. My prior run in before then was with a reiki counceler back in 98, at some lonon goth party.  Let's just say i just thought was weird, and wanted nothing to do with her, other then the bird, she was setting me up with. the igorance of youth.

I started out with tarot, offering a free online course, as well as hiring myself out for private sessions.

I never thought anything more about it, till I came in contact with a bdsm dominarix who I dated for awhile, she introduced me to tarot in a bif way, as she kept talking about her precognative dreams, and my curiousity was aroused, and if you hadn'y guessed. i'm not longer sweet and innoncet at this point. so I woundered could a person learn to dream.

I devled into the tarot, and then after one frightful whitby goth weekend, I came back and did a shamanic ritual (well pacing back and forth) to rock music, i was fuming and wanted change, then that night. I went lucid, and took control of my dreams, prior to that I'd only done it with lilith, and she awoke with the strangest smile.

The reiki "energy waves" made me adjust and start taking it seriously, plus when I went into wokr the next day, at citigroup. I looked nackered, and they all took the p*ss. so many bags under my eyes.

from that moment on, I had gained a gradual understanding and apprecation of dreams. I was keeping notes, like a good boy, and had done several reading on my self and other people. It was all going so well, and then too much was happening, I was picking up so much when I went home, anything from auras of red carpets, too hearing voices of inspections, as then inspections happening, to being unable to sleep as i just saw endless streams of clairvoyance regarding the contracts, admitedly some were useful. I used them to sort bugs, approach people, as I was hearing issues discussed and seeing shields on people;s arms, bright lights around some of the women, and well. it was all controlled, and the tears said it all..

Babtism of Fire Awakes

The spiritual bit, where I had convinced myself, my nan was dead was woke me up. i was trusting it, and then realised the rouching skin sensations, and everything else, was pure suggestion, i'd talked myself into a trance, as well on one night, spent hours in a "split personality" mode discussing complciated theory on the nature of existence, kaballa, and well having to stay silent least anyone thing I was insane. Some of it guided me in dealing with my parent's for the irony back then, we had falled out to such an extent, i was willing to buy time and listen to "spirit" instead of them. it came to a pass, with one sequence where i was in the bath, and saw the breach hold.  which meant my guidence, handling back home, had bought me enough time to work out waht the hell was going on. I believe the tarot cards for that month, where the tower and strength combined.

It was also shortly before going on a psycic course with other people, and suddenly it all stopped, my initial fears, were could these read me, was i going to be awful, though in time and from the outset they were all friendly. the night of the course, i read, or was a shown a lot of images of differnt course members. one old women shaking, the course leader "Not really caring" and a few other things,  the oddest connections for m back then. but i went crap, and stresed myself out, trying to be good. the more i forced it, the worse it got. so in essence it seemed like a wasted opportunity, location is irrelevent, other then your state of mind) what your willing to accept and open up to is key.

So that year, progressed smoothly, had the odd sucess, and well more dreams, like coleagues winning awards that type of thing, more auras and it all quietened off again, before sudenly stepping up to what i had before I had started panicking with it.

This is one marriage, where you might blow your brains out to get a divorce.   Welcome to hell and bliss at last. There's a reason for going with with antichrist speal, god's a bitch, and you just want to throttle her, so know you know, what temptation brings. The curse of being forced to trust, something you're better of ignoring, only perhaps if you wan't to win, you need to trust if after all.   Only not, perhaps I did know, and I spoke, but what works up above, certainly doesn't work down here. So Breaking Silence, and Trusting Man with Openess Was a Mistake. < At least in the short term, however if we hadn't gone through that, we wouldn't be here now. Hindsight - say nothing, and build in silence, ignore people till you get it done, talking just causes more hastle with the "voices" up above.   As down below. Trying to get my life back, and well forgetting what I knew, is impossible, as I will be pestered regardless, and yet the phone calls seem rigged. Assuming you say nothing. The calls are rigged, based on your state of mind.    Warning They will Tip You Off You Will Know, More then you Feel. Who dare's wins This is where -alegedly I am.   We see nothing, and they still run. So how many more buy outs, compromises remain? I can't live in this world, and be happy,  Pretending to serve.

Almost like it announces itself, and then backs off to give you adjustment time, before making damn sure you've seen enough. Frankly i no longer notice the sensations, or rather i know when i'm being goaded into correcting, showing or doing something. and I hate it, actually i love it, in that the pleasure waves feel wounderful. Though I hate the ambiguity, and well the not being straight with me, as instead of letting you get on with your work. What you want to do, it tries its damdest to contradict you, put you off, and it's all a set up to do something else, that's not freedom but slavery by any other name. Of course if it know's what's coming, thats where the trust comes in. Frankly a need to know basis is a marriage of convineance, and well can people really force and break the hand. So little trust on this side of the fence, it's anoying as hell

So in order to kill two birds with one stone, and in an attempt to trust it.  I was going to learn magick and see if it worked, trying to do this in the back garden, with the fear of neihbours watching tends to build insecurity up. So my clever ploy, was to do it where someonone wouldnt care. So a  roleplay event was picked, a place where people pretend to do that kind of thing all the time. My theory was I could jsut blend right in, and pretend not to be silly. If I came out with anything I picked up.   Prior to that I had taken a risk, and emailed a person at work, who told me what i had picked up in bed was accurate, so i was totaly new at it. Just felt like it. Think it took, over three years to adjust and build my confidence up by listening to it, and/or ignoring it as approriate..

So spending the whole day on the lakes side, doing magical rituals lol to be fair, the majority of which consisted of spending the whole day, alone listening and in solo visualisation, and seeing purple, actually i was on the bank most of the weekend, and any results of rituals, were me laying things out as seen in dreams the night before. will try anything once, so see what could come of it and comparing and contrasting it to other events, like realising my late ex, proved troublesome, interesting and fun.  The ritual side is irrelevant, you just need the visualisation, concentration, trance side, to get what I got on the river bank.  unlike clairvoyance which is flashes you see in your head, this was more backlit across the water and on the night sky.

since then i've got very good at seeing halucigenic aura like images/symbols around people which seem to belay what their intentions thoughts are. Screwed me over comerically since learning this stuff, way too sensitive in political work places. lol even lost a contract around this time, as it proved too distracting, actually they shafted me for their own intentions i just got to find out about it in advance, only then I didn't know enough to interpret the images, meanings. ergo you learn by doing, and go ooops. hindsight is 20/20 what can i say. now much more confident (I hope)  in determining context. still doesn't help much. it has done, in that I've sensed problems, been shown conversations, and problems which i can then target in other departments, but that's not a general rule of what happens.  Seems much more localised now and is more like ally mcbeal. I no longer can write anything without being conscious of the suggestion, direction, which conflicts with the entire sight, where i was writing it in response to what i heard, saw, felt and did.  

bit like a rag doll, unreadable, and then you have to consciously go back and tidy it up. not sure its worth it, but hopefully people will learn to deal with the cost, and realise there's more going on then you realise.

Experimenting without feeling silly take awhile, and you shouldn't trust everything you see here and touch. Learnt that the hard way when i begin working with meditation cd's.  my baptism of fire speal, where i felt like being touched, whispers, voices the full nine yards. It was what i needed to get the ball rolling, not necessarily a good thing opening Pandora's box, because it's a runaway train, and when you learn something you can't undo it, if you will. you face a lot of bigotry, disbelief and well that's why I opted in the end for the entire unified (fact) theory angle. to introduce people to what was going on. check out the house of lords, explanation for a political high level analogy of the thing. Alternatively if your more like neo follow the rabbit ok i've laid it on way too thick for the world peace, and antichrist angle. i appologise not at all, for it demonstrates the ignorance of humanity to not see what's shown to them, offered or given freely.

I write this now, as though I wasn't bothered, but back then, i was very bothered, shaken disturbed and even trying to talk to my current so called wican girlfriend had then all locked up in fear, ignorance denial, and well me in tears, if you can't trust the people your with, who can you trust? stranger. appears so, or rather that's where I move to. You see the actually adjusting to the weird, unusual is a baptism of fire, as until you meet people who are at the same level, doing the same things, its a little tricky on your own. so I advice you to experiment with those who know, or risk ending up like calypso (pirates of the Caribbean or obi one in isolatation, and smug satisfaction of knowing way to much for health benefits.

You go to hell and back, in the shedding process, but you have to tolerate a lot of fools in the meantime, and that's not the useful fool as in the tarot either. You start small, and then curiousirty drives, you to push a little further, and then well you know what they said about the kids, but meh some fool's got to do it, so who's the more foolish the fool who did it first time, round or those who repeat the exercise It's worth it knowing just for a day, but your not going to be a welcome addition to the system, and the world outside, they have issues, with admitting kali, and seeing past the seven of cups.

Should be noted, some dreams which i've had with other people, tend to have an unacany accuracy. so my ex scewing me allways leave me hopful, untill i rememver the other ex where the blow job, was perhaps symbolic. tricky thing dreams.  how far do you trust them, to be realying you the right idea, bit like the lords and the commons.. *hint, hint* trust, renders it obsolete, but what if its just surface impressions, beneath the deep, then again there's many depths, many angles, and many facets on the dimond of life, love and jest. Not all things are literal, some are just a need to get you where you need, so the pressues off, so to speak.

So perhaps i shall make it, yet, and the precognitive dream/trance like talk will happen, not convinced the world wants to know, and if I should force it, the backlash is not worth it, and well seeing what women want, before they do it, and knowing what they thought, but them tiring of it, refusing to admit weakness, is getting silly. you can't order people to do anything, you can't force them to open up. You can only show them, and hope your inadequate explanations hit through. vitirol in art XIV takes time and effort for the egg hatched in lover, to work its magick on the populace at large. Don't get distracted by the material desire, fear angle, if you know what you want, go for it, and never give in, and never surrender, the world can compromise for anyone who give to the star XVII. (yes you need to understand the esoterickabala /tarot explanations, to understand me.

Now  be forewarnded depending on my mood, I don't always humour morons, and sometime draw a diagram, strategic foresight of a mayfly is what i think of most I deal with, the world in general, when it comes to stating the obvious, and moving on. you need to know a lot to hit that point, and then well, we shall see, in the meantime the vision was but one step in an even bigger journey on trust, denial and the persuit of sharing knowledge in all it's forms. So from kether to malakuth I draw you down, to serve my mind, and pass it on, to all to see, the apple raw, and the apple sown, for the seeds to spread ever outwards... a flare for the dramatic is what one adopts to survive, against intolerance, and servitude, )

Back to the actual vision that weekend

.  right the vision happened, though i used creative licence to make it sound more like revelation only because no one listens to rational explanations, actually nope, its more sales and marketing branding you cant twist anything into a single theme, and still speak your subjective truth. scientific minds reason out what its' not really quick. Shame you can't force people to repeat the experiements, so they shut up on the belief angle.

So you need to know the background to put it in context, essentially i didn't see a women with dragon tatoos.  i saw her head, and it was my ex who I know has dragon tatoo's. to be honest I haven't even read all of revelation , it's just someone mentioned it afterwards, or I later watched the new omen film, and smiled at the European connotations

I vaguely knew the other women who I saw the head of. I had that one, selling my site onward,  at a later unspecified date. Bet I f**ked that one up, by not listening to what I was told, take confidence to build a spine, and just come out with. I have since learnt that if I see people in images, to pick up the phone and ask out right, or even walk into the shop and then find out to my dismay that the actually ripping up floorboards image was her moving, and not trashing the site. ca la vi. you learn the hard way to trust and turn the perspective, to well. a picture's worth a thousand words, but you need to know the context to put it in effect. Note both women the surrounding pentagram was turning upside down to Satanist one, and the pagan one.  irreversibly went on for some time, while i musted my thoughts. the beast looked pretty funky was well, and was more a final outcome/connected to what I was trying to do. don't ask it's better you don't share some things, and well it's connected to this site, the message, and a few private schemes. pluralistic intent what can I say, works for government, works for me.

Backtracking to earlier events

Now when I went to loco park; which was hosting a role playing event called "the gathering", I went with the express intention of adjusting to my unique experiences. in order to learn "magick" if you will, whilst  practicingm mediation, and adjust to the clairvoyance thing, without the fear of looking stupid, as its a place where people play magic and do rituals in game, so in short is like the vampires in interview with the vampires, pretending to be humans pretending to be vampires, the perfect cover storey, to relax and open up. if only i hadn't bothered.

However those who know me, also know that my primary secondary objective. hard to say which was more influential, tipped kama to make me subject myself to that ordeal. I tired of that event years back, so boring, and so infantile. But seeing the clairvoyance suggestion, and tieing with a few other long term dreams, which had my curiosity peaked, I decided nothing to loose, and took the advice and took my tarot deck, athame, and wand.

(perhaps overkill, I didn't need them, and never will again. good for getting you over the feel silly stage, so actually their is a point, to drawing down, reprogramming your mind, to dare, to know, to will, to stay silent, and after unified (fact) theory the knowing is easy, though back then i didn't know what I know know, ergo its a draw )

i also went that weekend to try and convince my ex, that i could attend a game, and didn't need to be watched over, clung to for fun. trust me the lovers kiss, is better then sex. still the physical interaction is occasionally nice, but to be honest the gulf is wide, sometimes it feels like humouring children, only that's an insult on children who are more foriging, open minded and inteligent, i swear most choose to limit themselves in, build boxes around themselves, whilst kids continue to play in the sun XVIII 

So some time for lilith

Without need for hangers on, as I've been trying to talk her into speaking to me for ages, fix the flaw.  The psychic thing was all too much, I didn't handle it with the decorate and lol she always did say I never showed her all my cards, when we split. which accounts why she know has enough matieral in her inbox to write a string of books, in the mind of "gareth bowen" some people really need to get ovethemselvs, and realise communication matters, at ant level. that's multiplistic and well, breaking  barriers down, is an artform. We, society need to hit the point where we can listen to what anyone has to say, without locking up in fear, denial and shrug it off. ergo actions which are speech/words should never be used against anyone living or dead. though that doesn't preclude, slagging off their ideas, and pointing out the flaws in the plan (sorry my mind was at muhameed, and loopholes) people are tricky people any excuse, to excuse art XIV and turn the knife in. which is not we are about, it should be in helping people open up, and well love, be themselves, and do what they trust is right. Hard to do, if you don't understand where someone's mind's at, and most people don't understand this complicated area as well as I do.

Explaining it, in context, to bridge the divide, is also tricky. anyone can fob you off with a cryptic remark. but actually trying to sit down, and explain it so they know, can follow and do what they want. Is harder siad then done, especially when your trying to avoid filtering it, or leaving it out for those who come later, and seek to abuse it. How many times, does it take the message to get through, that you don't care anymore, yet you do. for well you want to help, but helping has its own pentagram to bear. I said cross once, and it's not balanced. nothing ever is. that's the price with adjustment showing too early, before the beast learned what lilith needed. a reversal of circumstance, as people grow and be themselves. it's a hard price, to loose touch, but ca la vi. life has it's trips and turns, on the journey of life.  open invites remain open, indefinitely time has no price to succession it's when your ready, or not at all. and how can i use that one I wonder I can't which is the point... it's a personal revelation of their is no spoon yet still part of me, trusts the dream symbolism, which is not a lot to go on, while working blind.

 Back to effects/image and what it looked like that night/day/evening - the sun chasses the moon indefinitely never the too do meet, unless adjustment VII is reached, one more time. Lilith rode the beast in lust XI, and the snaked did feed from the chalice of life and death. yet none paid the price, and the star was bled to overflowing, if it worked, if it didn't well meh we tried, we came, we saw, we lived in passion. so a toast one last time to "in the devil we stand" which better me on the grave stone, if she follows instructions.

Relax i'm not ready to fall on my sword yet. its simply an option if government refuse to wake up and heed the call of the beast, ignorance is bliss, but not when those who suffer needlessly continue to do so, the communication barriers are coming down, the walls have gone, up and society suffers for it. Enough politcs, back to the  magick whilst I ignore the business end to the tale. I guess some just walls don't want to share their knowledge, openly.

Back to the old psychic side, again old faithfil, which isn't really, that's the trick, the point and the problem at hand, limit your problem domain, and then resort to leg work. then trust the eyes have it, open when the path is found (bit like sowing seeds, but it's the uppers demise, which is the saving hand, or is it really? *grin*)

Now lets face it anyone who sees halucigenic auras no matter how useful and they are, for they aren't ghosts, they are early your brain rendering you information on people, sort of a newon sign, this is what's bothering the, and in my case they can even correct you, with politics,  steep learning curve, Babtism of fire what can i say... (more devil tie ins, so perhaps a toast, before i get back to the point.

which is, i spent the entire day sitting on the edge of a lovely river bank, on a picnic rug, listening and meditating, sometimes on my back, cus I can't be arsed with the Buddha cross legged crap, and seeing purple anyway its one of those things where I was looking for advice, and a solution to the problem at hand, progressing the site, and   lilith.  Besides i'd only gone there on the pretext of some other clairvoyance of "your my only hope" and the image of the priestess in the park, and i'd even been offered a branch off the tree, prior to the big one. the dramatic showy, one, note the tree branch reflects back to the shakespear pub, and the other wand incident on the river bank, first time I got a tip off, realting to a clue, which was not connected to body language, and shook the hell out of me, sometimes subtlty is not the best policy on making the point felt, the rest its more ambifious as hell. tempting, just like the apple.

You have to reason it out, and think for yourself, which is the point, your learning to grow and expand your horizons, and the inteligence services can puke at that, but if you don't tempt them to learn, open up we are going to get no where, fast, in fact the very concept of sliding back into another dark ages, is not beyond the realm of impossibility, while people and the newas remains censored, people forget so very easily, and then fall back to superstious, fear noncense, worship *shudder* and the rest

now, its all about the senses and learning to process them, and i even went as far on humourng them (just once, or twice), and laid the  feathers out as in the dream. and did dedication to the royal family on the banks as dictated in a dream, that's how far i was willing to go, in trying to master this secret art, personally i think my higher self, or someone was having fun, with their puppet on the string/

i did listen to some of the suggestions flashes in head, (this was written prior to knowing some of the other stuff) and in a game setting tried it out, and proved my point, that i was indeed appearing to pick up things outside my normal visual range, and that their was vision to my apparent madness and lack of clarity.  in short if "you trust god" and act on it, you get closer to revealing your goal, however saying that some of the suggestions have been so inane, that I've automatically gone no, as its clear that its more then you following blindly you have to think about it, and reflect, ergo your the filter and you make the choice, so your the legs, as it once aptly described me years back, reduced to nothing but a servant yet that's not true, for anything i ever experienced has served to break my fears down and widen my perspective so that there's no going back, and you see opportunities where before you did not.

essentially if you keep banging your head against a brick wall, take a side view on, and then continue anyway, around teh wall, through it, scale it, or go underneath hit. now this distracts from the vision, here in the moment, the night has drawn in, and i get to see the beast rise up out the lake and fill in the night sky (bit like giant version, only better out of the one in angel) lol so epic film material, so you have to admit if nothing else, the ability of the mind to show you that, on normal optic vision (even though you can tell its not part of the  natural surroundings) is kind of cool.

no drugs, no alcohol just lots of patience, and lots of opportunity to relax, this is talking about the same weekend, where i took my athame on "suggestion" from a clairvoyant style image in head, and i even gave my tarot, the wand, and the deck to my ex, smuggled it in her tent, which she had so conveniently pitched opposite me, her choice, on a site with 3000+ people. of course that's not that difficult when your split into factions, and i used to know her old group, so even now i dilute what i say, so i can cut it short and make it dramatic, or talk you all to death, in the hope i don't twist it, and put some drama into it.  personal giving her a £100 dagger wand and prized deck to an ex, who was never speaking to me, and refusing to look me in the eye, and kept turning away everytime i drew near is an act of insanity, or sheer strategic genius so either i though of the idea, and its being passed down to, or someone else is playing matchmaker choose your personal illusion.  never give up hope is what i say, if there's ever going to be one person who learns to take it in, it will be her, because of another vision, which..  (tell you what, lets focus on one prophecy at a time... you don't need to know my personal life, which i seem to be appalling at)

so err what else, oh yes the vision was supposed to tie in with how to sell site, and i had images of the other women, selling my site on, never happened, so perhaps i blew it because i didn't go and talk to her there and then, it was awkward weekend, as i was picking up, being so sensitive at the time to people, i could handily the crowds, information overloud so preferred the comfort of the river bank, though i was hoping my ex would have figured out the air and fire (the wand) goes with earth and water where i was sat, so much for balance, though bizarrely when did another couple of suggested Impulsive ideas"  on some in character cash i had on me, two women came out of nowhere, and walked over it, blokes went no where near it,  how do i explain this one.. hmmm

the flash in my head of taking hte plastic coins and laying them out, and you have to understand i'm in the middle of nowhere, in that no one had walked down here in hours, so i wondered what was the point, nothing but ducks here. so i did it, and about 10mins later, these three characters/players (real people) who were at the event were walking back, and walked in front of me, the women (two blokes) walked over the in character money, and she saw it, technically completing the ritual (balance thing, don't ask) and still they didn't take it, or ask me about it. how weird is that, this is a system where people mug characters in game for fun, so it unusual to ignore it, thats the cash i got told to throw away later, so in effect, i started doing an out of character ritual for an inc character game, to practice out of character, as well as using it in character (as was also playing a mage) to do something ic. confused? yup no wonder there's so much tie in....

and cut a long storey short, i was even gullible enough to "listen" to suggestion which had me sitting alone in the middle of a battle field on the final day 3000+ lined up on each side, in an attempt to broker a peace truce, took nerves of steal, and i was too chicken to do it, and security came and dragged me off, before it began and i listened to advice from up above, if you will to stare them in the eyes, so it was character building, what can i say, completely mad, and is perhaps one small step in the convoluted process which has got me here, trying to unify the world, in writing explanations from precognitive dreams, predestination to everything else, even was on kerrangradio once, due to circumstance, and is it ever enough, nope is it bollocks, its either too big, or not enough detail, too much, or arggggghh, frustrating as hell, so i'm looking to pursue this professionally and oh yes forgot one thing...

another portion ignoring clairvoyance which has Lilith coming to drag me back to game, which made me stay there longer, was a huge verbal speal, about bush, the royal family, pagan federation and vic reeves and moritmor, to be honest in hindsight it kind of furthers the suggestion that's its not what you know, but who you know, bring those people together would intact something, and perhaps is a lead into why that wank for freedom campaign went to the states, it seemed so obvious at the time, and now meh, convoluted you have to live it, its your life, this was just one weekend, which was a very educating experience back when i was living as a result of events instead of dictating them, and even now my leg tells me i haven't explained that right, i had tingling sensations at the start of paragraph, for making the right point, but can i be arsed to go back start again, no, why because i cant change it, well i could technically rewrite the lot, but there's only so much that can be done, and lets face it, it does not bring cash to the table (image of bread) so i shall leave it that, unfinished and pick on it, when inspiration dwindles, for i cant leave it alone, i keep getting drawn back, in a better effect to put it right, explain it, in such a way, it unites instead of divides, and that sounds so crap, and yes, image, vision, it really happened, and its not the first time, noely wears off though, you kind of adjust and learn to say nothing. though thing is if you hid it away and say nothing, your safe, but look like an ideot, when you shut have spoken up. bit like the police vision in tesco.

i had something which was told could prove i was the antichrist, but did i say anything bollocks did i, now i just look stupid after the fact. its written in the site somewhere, human rights, when i got a wave of anger and it flooded my system, a little too much information for one day, put that over to kama perhaps before you start stressing out, you can play these things so many ways, its perhaps more me being told something which can help, as well as in that instance ridding me of fear, depending on how the times went. precognitive dreams, work backwards, so that's merlin all over, another point, least you get fed up of reading, just sign up, and beware, nuggets dimonds are hidden all over, in the links, and in plain sight, so delve deep, research and learn, and then master enlightenment and its back to work, arse, another line, buddha again, though i preferred my take on some things, and the hill is getting crowded for anyone can scale the heights, assuming you don't mind being taken as a freak, and learning to stay silence, which is why i wrote this bloody site, in an effort to get people used to me. so why me, was another speak as the antichrist was too much for some people. "over the top" and over the hill, yet it would correct the democracy deficit, so back to talking about multiple ideas, and bringing people together, though in all honesty, im the last person to do that, as have no people skills, people run away or break down when i speak, its hard seeing spiders on people "represents their fear" doesn't happen often thankfully, part of the training, can you put up with 6/7 people trying to break you, and then the break into tears, strop off, or (dont think he did break into tears, just shouted, and nearly chucked me out of the pub)    and there you have it, i say too much, and its all to widen foundations and bridge the gap, silence helps, makes it easier, but doesn't progress society, and get us to a base level, and I'm ranting again, apple anyone? your choice.. freewill and all.

anyway if you want a concise beermat style version its: (though frankly with targeted advertising, i can use so many lines and none of them serve any real useful purpose, unless you bring em back, and do iterative development, this is perhaps enough for my personality, sense of humour? wee? yes, and lilith, please loose the attitude, the sex image in that tent, was rather nice, with you and the neclace, so no more images of you hiding behind it... look me in the face, and talk back or not... *sigh* back to the concise version)

"I write systems, conversion is not an option, but conciliation is, knowledge is power, APPLE?"

yada,yada,yada, screw the f***king beermat, that what trying to do, so if you agree or support me, please join up and support me, more detail here, from the less pluralistic side. i.e. the fun, up-close isn't neo gorgeous type of thing... rather then the boring and unhelpful attempt to create a single theory here. (what can i say i have multiple interesets), which is why I so need lilith to pull the reigns in on lust XI lol, enough already, they get the point, and is her right hand filled with the source... see the cards"

ny lasts pleas, or anything else, nah, your on your own, you know the apple when you see it, the tree of life, business, body and all the the rst flow out of middle England  rantings on philosophy, quality differs, but i endeavour to please ladies take note, its a dating site as well so where else are you going to get a scitzophriniac legal geious who is recruiting for the devil, wolrd peace, nature and the president of eu, theres only one bloke insane to pull this job off, and thats the architect gareth bowen, the builder of bridges, now give me your soul. mwah, ha,ha, (eligence not necessarily, your should is the world, and err, oh sod, it, read the small print.. your your own woman but if you can help then do something, and if you know anyone who can meet my credentials for a partner, assuming Lilith fails to reign me in lust, then perhaps get em on board, and use the cupid facility to break the ice, what more do you want, another miracle... beware what you ask for, death is the only option these days, and you won't want that, unless it's change, and the amorphic egg, is starting to hatch, as the hermit gazes inward, going is it enough, really is it, for the wheel turns, and shiva come, and kali melts to reveal the lovers VI, and how can the grail move the chariot, without feeding the birds..... such a sidestep of manipulation, which is beneath me, for i am "always look on the bright side of life", how hum, go on smile, bite the apple, *puppy dog eyes* hair swishing, adjustment weighted on a quark, before it tops, the scales and go overweight yet again, doh, wrong thing, i knew i should have stayed silent, so shhhhhhhhhhhh saysa angel Gabriel you know speaking is what started this entire chain reaction to begin with, now follow it through, and hope the dominoes dont fall out of synch, as that spoils the effect, if you get my drift, no stop sulking and isgn on in, its love at first sight.. pretty please.... *hint*