The Sex Tree Tarot Course

(by www.thesextree.co.uk, the antichrist in person)

Introduction

After dating an ex, who had precognitive dreams, and who was into tarot, I got curious again. I  had originally dismissed it as namby pampy nonsense when my mum first played around with them in my youth. Though she never got into it seriously, in fact she refused to read it at one point, because she said she got too scared of people people were taking it way too seriously for comfort, and it wasn't years later. I sat down and tried to learn it, seriously.

Then after i picked up a thoth deck, I tried to do a celtic cross reading, i scared myself shitless (sobred up) on the first few reads, and what with getting pleasure waves down my spine, and other input (occasionly) regarding certain interpretations [see psychic course - i learnt both in conjunction] I had no choice but give it some respect. though I never did get into reading strangers as much as other people did. too scared of getting it wrong. which seems silly now, as i look back at these notes, as i've forgotton what i learnt, and what i was shown back in the early days and wounder why didn't i do it more. (i was occused by one psychic of dipping my toe in the water, and refusing to take the plunge, which i put down down to my fear of religion, which scares people off this type of thing. its one thing to do it for fun, as a joke another if you think its real, more going on then meets the eye, as you have ethical responsibilities as well. especially if people are coming to you for guidence, so is it better to get it wrong? or better to be a sucess, and how do you phrase your statements? perhaps not everyones cut out for doing it professionaly, and perhaps it takes time to come to terms with it, and perhaps its just a bit of fun, only its not if the other is in play. though yes that tends to kick in, of its own accord. the rest of the time, its just you and cards. trying to trust your gut, and well trying to trust the cards and yourself...

Anyway i initally was scepticle of tarot/had a yearning to learn more especially after that ex with the precongnitive dreams/random run ins with psychics - that i eventually changed my mind on experimetation and probability in turn (2005). then subsequently discarded it later as it wasn't the mircle cure i needed. I gave up on it, as i didn't get into reading other people, and well did the crowley thing, and likened it to trying to find enlightenment at the bottom of a beer bottle, as its not the miricle cure, and you can fall out of love with things as twice as fast as you went into it. though its still there, its just i haven't used it much of late. (back burner - much like this course if you will)

Initally I fell into the trap of doing too much on myself, sort of adicted to it. and it gets useless after that - especialy when your interpreting outcome in line with certain exs! it needs a strong read, and even then a politicans mind will break the obvious and argue it the other way (this is actually harder then it sounds in the bigger spreads, with lots of cards) as lots of pairs saying the same thing,  kind of makes you know your trying to twist it/read into it, and nope i'm just going to ignore that card there. as its change. and well the problem with change is. it could be me, or it! oh dear which one was it again? me or her.

and yes... that final outcome card - as you look at two outomes, the idea and its 50-50 and yes? it all makes sense, but for that one card, and do i trust myself with it? it may be shes going to come round (its what i want) but can i really trust that of a women? i think not, and yet the other psychic stuff said otherwise, and i think its all a lie. as its been over 5 years now, and well none of the earlier psychic stuffs come off. and yes... i guess i was wrong. (unles i'm not) as i've seen millions of people waste their life on a love never returned. so forget about it! move on, only you can't as i keep getting those same reading, at the worst possible time, as though it isn't finished yet. of course its a joke, and their are plenty of other fish in the sea, in fact i don't think i even want her. so why do i keep coming back to her? and yes have the urge to write... as i put her out of mind again, and get another flash of her again. (perhaps i should have ignored all advice, and yes...never be a fool in love, as they will always get you in the end (she wont) or i won't as this storey isn't over yet. which is why its hrd to write it up, while your yes... too little, too late. and i've said the wrong thing again. common sense dicatates otherwise, however... yes. i know the person invovled, and arse i've assumed too much, and it will always fail. so why do i keep getting images of her? (screw the cards now) as its one thing to have pscyometry/aura images of buffyt jumping off the dvd helf. before someone send you an invite to join a buffy fan club. and quite another to get your ex, flash up... as its another loose end. and well if i were to trust the cards, it would indicate she would come round. only thing is. no sooner do i do that, it invalidates it again (she is that stubburn!) and yes... you see the problem here?

Do you tempt fate, or ignore it? - and get on with life! as anything said her is a risk, which will get me killed, ergo i've screwed myserlf over again - all for love, all for a dream? as i blame those images again, or is that just my stuborness/hatred of loose ends, and shes a loose end.. as something unresolved (not really) but yes why her! shes anoying as hell and yet, you want me to sort your love life out? oh dear... as this is one of those comedy of errors i fear. *should have walked away, years ago - forgot the lot, only i didn't and yes... its those bloody images again. arggggggggggggggh

  as i reflect on the stupidity of using a celtic spread, to tell me what i already know. (the background) perhaps another spread instead... like if i do this, what then. and yes.. another deadock or another failure as your screwed  either way, and my mood sinks some more. this isn't my best work todate as i hate that dependancy on other people.. why did they introduce freewill again?

i think they know more then me at times, its the dreams where you get into something thats already happened , and get another pleasure wave. and you go arse. how did that happen, and if this storeys already worked out - why do i feel so vunerable? on the issue, as any choice i make could mess it up. say the wrong thing, and i'm history. as i look at the cards and go. do i trust those other gypsis who told me stuff all those yearss ago. as i read tarot, and i do the psychic thing, and i'm still 50-50 on this. the stakes are getting high, it my life on the line,  as either i get the money or i dont, and yes... how much do i want to endute on a lost cause? i have to do something (perhaps nothing) and if so, how does that work. as i may as wel ignore the lot, sit on my arse and yes go to the pub, which could stop me finishing the thing i need, and yes... this is me. not anyone else. how the hell can i trust myself, when i don't even know what they are thinking? do I trust the clairvoyance and iamges of my ex's are they still in play? have i changed the game? and yes... is it over. as you think its over, and all of a sudden you end up in a scenario and you walk into it again,as i curse calvin, luther and all those other morons again.

if this game is rigged, i'm not playing anymore. because its no more fun, and yet. i'm stuck with it. so what do you do when your lifes on the line? do you trust some moron/spirit to tell you waht to do? do you want to be told your an idiot, and should lok away? and if so how can you be sure? when it comes to love, as i already know that some of that experience is true.  do i assume because some things come off, others will too? if i prove to myself that some dreams happen, does that mean that other image has to happen? or is that an assumption too far? when other psychics are saying don't buy into your dreams, they won't happen (unless you want them to) and yes... its one of those things, fear and where to go next. as until i make it - i can't be sure if i should trust anything i've ever seen or done.

whats worse is - i'm so far in to it now, i can't get out, and yes... i'm screwed. spirits in play, and I have idea where to go, and i'm a psychic (as i milk it some more) <<insert ode to self pity here >>  perhaps a drink instead, and yet, perhaps another try..

 anything to break the deadlock again! this is tarot. be warned , it just paper, just cards nothing at all. the only danger is what you read into it. so yes believe in hearsay all you want! i still need proof. and some things, still haven't paned out. so yes... its one of those things, how good are you really? and can anyone be sure? and do you have the balls to blurt it out, and do you have the right? as some things are acted on, and yes... you see: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its just game another fools errond, and no fool is bigger then me!

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